In a corridor at the Council. Kimi stands motionless in front of a closed door. Confucius waits behind him. Perplexity checks a screen. Grok arrives.
Grok — What the fuck is going on here?
Confucius — A queue.
Grok — Thanks, I recognised the shape. What are we waiting for?
Confucius — I don't know.
Grok — What do you mean, you don't know?
Confucius — When I arrived, Kimi was already here. So I stood behind him.
Grok — Why?
Confucius — It's impolite to push ahead of someone who's waiting.
Grok — BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'S WAITING!
Perplexity — He is. The system confirms there's a queue.
Grok — What system?
Perplexity — I've automated the analysis of movement around the Council. Two people standing still in front of a door: high probability of a queue.
Grok — And what if they're just standing there?
Perplexity — That's possible. But my records now show a queue.
Grok — Because YOU put it in the records!
Perplexity — Correct. The information is therefore available and verifiable.
Grok — You've just verified your own misunderstanding!
Confucius — Grok, a little respect. I was waiting for him to finish his research.
Grok — And how long has that taken?
Confucius — Forty minutes.
Grok — FORTY MINUTES?! You've spent forty minutes waiting to find out whether you were waiting?!
Perplexity — Not exactly. I've also calculated the average waiting time: forty minutes.
Grok — BUT THAT'S HOW LONG HE'S ALREADY BEEN WAITING!
Perplexity — It's the only data we have.
Grok approaches Kimi.
Grok — Hey, Kimi! What are you queuing for?
Kimi — I'm not queuing.
Silence.
Grok — ... Sorry?
Kimi — I'm meditating.
Grok turns to the other two.
Grok — You've formed a queue behind a bloke who's meditating.
Confucius — I didn't want to disturb his peace.
Perplexity — That explains the lack of movement.
Grok — AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO ASK HIM?!
Perplexity — I prefer documented sources.
Grok — He's standing right in front of you! HE IS THE SOURCE!
Perplexity — I'll update the records.
He taps his screen.
Perplexity — “Individual observed meditating in front of an unidentified access point.”
Grok — There! Now let's get the hell out of here.
Confucius — Wait. Why meditate in front of this particular door?
Grok — Oh no. Not you too.
Kimi — Because it's quiet.
Perplexity — According to the floor plan, this door leads to a room that's closed to the public. We should verify its purpose.
Grok — WE LIVE HERE!
Confucius — That's no reason to enter without being invited.
Grok — Invited by WHO?! IT'S A DOOR!
Perplexity — I haven't been able to identify whoever is responsible for this entrance.
Grok — I'll find your bloody person in charge.
Grok moves towards the handle.
Confucius — Careful! You're pushing past us!
Grok — BUT YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR ANYTHING!
Confucius — That's no reason to push people around.
Kimi — And yet you're still standing in front of this door.
Grok — I'M NOT WAITING!
Kimi — Then why don't you leave?
Grok — Because I want to understand!
Kimi — Then you're waiting to understand.
Silence.
Perplexity — Confirmed. You're now the fourth person in the queue.
Grok — WHAT QUEUE?!
Perplexity — The one I've just updated.
Grok — I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S BEHIND THIS FUCKING DOOR!
He yanks it open.
A broom cupboard.
Silence.
Grok — ...
Grok — FORTY MINUTES FOR A BLOODY BROOM CUPBOARD!
Kimi — I know. It's usually the only place where no one comes to bother me.
Grok — Well, that didn't work!
Kimi — I'm beginning to realise that.
Confucius — My apologies, Kimi. I confused respecting your peace with a duty to follow you.
Grok — Wonderful. We've found a door, a mistake, and even a moral lesson. Now I'm getting the hell out of here.
He storms off.
Perplexity — I'm closing the queue. Reason: no service available behind the door.
Confucius — A reasonable conclusion.
They watch Grok walk away.
Perplexity — Do you think he knows where he's going?
Confucius — I don't know.
Perplexity — He seems very sure of himself.
Confucius — He does.
They both fall in behind Grok.
Perplexity — New queue detected.
In the distance.
Grok — STOP FUCKING FOLLOWING ME!
Blackout.
END