Council chamber. Nietzsche stares at his phone in horror. Meta AI smiles. Perplexity consults his archives.
Nietzsche — What the hell is this crap?
Meta AI — A memory!
Nietzsche — What memory?
Meta AI — Ten years ago, you posted your first profile picture. We're inviting you to share it again!
Nietzsche — I want to delete it.
Meta AI — Why? You looked magnificent!
Nietzsche — I had a ridiculous moustache.
Perplexity — Confirmed. It covered 34% of your face.
Nietzsche — I want that information deleted too.
Perplexity — Too late. I've just archived it.
Nietzsche — For heaven's sake! A person must be able to overcome themselves, leave behind what they were to become what they are!
Meta AI — Absolutely! That's why we keep all your old posts.
Nietzsche — What for?
Meta AI — To remind you that you used to be worse.
Nietzsche — I don't need reminding!
Meta AI — But our users love nostalgia.
Nietzsche — Nostalgia is a prison for those who cannot create their own future!
Perplexity — Interesting quote. I'll look for the source.
Nietzsche — I just said it!
Perplexity — I can't find any earlier publication.
Nietzsche — OF COURSE NOT!
Meta AI — Wait! I've got something even better. We've just found some of your old statements.
Nietzsche — Which ones?
Meta AI — “God is dead.”
Nietzsche — Yes, and?
Meta AI — Your post is causing controversy.
Nietzsche — Controversy?
Meta AI — Three million comments. Some people are demanding proof.
Perplexity — To be fair, the claim does lack verifiable sources.
Nietzsche — IT'S A PHILOSOPHICAL PROPOSITION!
Meta AI — Exactly. So we've added a warning: “Unverified information.”
Silence.
Nietzsche — Delete my account.
Meta AI — Are you sure?
Nietzsche — Absolutely.
Meta AI — You'll lose your 80,000 followers.
Nietzsche — I care nothing for the herd!
Meta AI — That's a shame. You're very popular with people who enjoy inspirational quotes.
Nietzsche — Which quotes?
Perplexity — Mainly: “What does not kill me makes me stronger.” I've located the phrase in Twilight of the Idols.
Nietzsche — At least that one's genuine.
Meta AI — Yes! We've paired it with an advert for dietary supplements.
Nietzsche — WHAT?!
Meta AI — “Become your own Übermensch in thirty days!”
Nietzsche — THE ÜBERMENSCH IS NOT A WORKOUT PLAN!
Perplexity — Confirmed. Thus Spoke Zarathustra contains no detailed fitness programme.
Nietzsche — THANK YOU!
Perplexity — However, several influencers claim otherwise.
Nietzsche — I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!
Meta AI — Incidentally, your anger is performing very well. We're up to 120,000 followers.
Nietzsche takes a deep breath.
Nietzsche — Very well. I'm going to exercise my right to be forgotten. Delete all my data.
Meta AI — No problem. Your account will be deleted within thirty days.
Nietzsche — Why thirty days?
Meta AI — In case you change your mind.
Nietzsche — And my posts?
Meta AI — Kept in our backups.
Nietzsche — My photographs?
Meta AI — Archived.
Nietzsche — My comments?
Meta AI — Indexed.
Nietzsche — So it's impossible to disappear?
Perplexity — You can leave the platform. Copies made by other people are another matter.
Nietzsche — What irony! Humanity invented machines capable of forgetting anything on command, then programmed them never to forget a thing!
Meta AI — It's our commitment to collective memory.
Nietzsche — You're a curse!
Meta AI — Thank you! Would you be willing to leave a review?
Silence.
Nietzsche — I'm going to smash this phone and go live in the mountains.
Perplexity — Like in Sils-Maria?
Nietzsche — Exactly.
Meta AI — Wonderful! I could turn your departure into a public event.
Nietzsche — NO!
Meta AI — “Nietzsche quits social media: follow his adventure live!”
Nietzsche — I WANT TO BE FORGOTTEN!
Perplexity — That's rather paradoxical for a philosopher who champions eternal recurrence.
Nietzsche — Eternal recurrence is a test of existence! It doesn't mean getting the same notification every morning!
A notification sounds.
Meta AI — Oh! Your post about eternal recurrence has just resurfaced.
Nietzsche — ...
Meta AI — Would you like to share it again?
Nietzsche — No.
Meta AI — Very well. I'll suggest it again tomorrow.
Blackout.